Why I write
I want to feel good, that's why I write. I originally wanted to write that I want to feel better, but I think saying "good" makes it more consistently actionable while "better" implies a that where I am isn't enough. And there may be times when what I feel and do isn't enough, but if I'm already feeling good I don't want to run out by saying something stupid like, "I wanna feel better." This makes sense to me as I'm working on getting out of the darkest time of my life. I was in full existential crisis. What is the point of my existence when everything looks so absurd in the face of death? I couldn't answer that question. I still can't. In the last two years I walked away from a "successful" career at a Fortune 500 company. I became estranged with my family and friends because I couldn't relate beyond my own contemplation and suffering. I wanted to commit suicide on more than one occasion and actually was ho